James: How to heal wounds around betrayal, abandonment, and rejection? How to not carry them into new relationships?

Spirit: The first step is acknowledging that these wounds exist. Many people try to ignore or deny their past hurts, but what we resist persists. Healing begins with honest recognition.

James: And once we've acknowledged these wounds?

Spirit: Then comes the deeper work of understanding the stories we've created around these wounds. For example, if someone was abandoned, they might have created a story that “everyone leaves eventually.” These stories become unconscious beliefs that sabotage new connections.

James: How do we identify these stories?

Spirit: Pay attention to your emotional triggers. When you have an outsized emotional reaction to something in a relationship, that's often a wounded part speaking. Ask yourself:
“What does this situation remind me of?”
“What am I afraid is happening here?”

James: And once we've identified these wounds and stories?

Spirit: Then comes reparenting yourself — giving yourself the care and reassurance your wounded parts need. If you felt abandoned, your practice becomes staying present with yourself during difficult emotions. If you felt unheard, your practice becomes deep listening to your own needs.

James: What about forgiveness? People often struggle with that aspect.

Spirit: Forgiveness isn't about condoning what happened. It's about freeing yourself from the burden of resentment. Sometimes, especially with deep wounds, forgiveness comes after healing, not before.

James: Any final advice for someone beginning this healing journey?

Spirit: Be gentle with yourself. Healing isn't linear, and old wounds can get triggered even after significant progress. What matters is developing the awareness to recognize when you're being driven by past hurts rather than present reality. With practice, you can learn to respond from your healed self rather than your wounded self.